The Donor Conversation Guide
The very best questions to ask donors as you prepare for a meaningful gift conversation.
Prepare before the conversation
Giving history, affiliations, relationships and interests.
What do you want to learn, not what do you want to say?
The one question you most need answered.
Start with the story
“Tell me about the first time you experienced philanthropy — or saw someone make a difference in your community.”
Listen for who was involved, what the moment meant and how it shaped the donor's approach to giving.
Use the mission context
The same approach can serve different kinds of organizations. Adapt the mission context and listen carefully to the donor's words.
Arts centers
- “What are your hopes and dreams for the role of art in this community?”
- “What is the most meaningful experience you’ve had with an arts organization?”
- “How would you like to see people experience this place in the future?”
Libraries
- “What role has a library played in your life or your family's life?”
- “What do you hope this library makes possible for the next generation?”
- “What would a stronger library mean for this community?”
Parks and open spaces
- “Which public spaces have mattered most to you?”
- “What do you hope people will be able to do here that they cannot do today?”
- “What would you want your family to experience in this place years from now?”
Aquatic and recreation centers
- “What role have swimming or recreation spaces played in your life?”
- “What opportunities should every family in this community be able to access?”
- “How would you like this facility to serve future generations?”
Discovery and cultural centers
- “What experience first made you curious about this place or its history?”
- “What do you hope visitors discover here?”
- “What would it mean to preserve and share these stories with the next generation?”
Understand how they make giving decisions
- “How do you involve your family in your decision-making about giving?”
- “Do you have a trusted advisor you work with?”
- “What's the most satisfying giving experience you've had so far? What did you enjoy about it?”
- “Would it be helpful to bring someone else into the conversation?”
Get even more curious
“Can you say more about that?”
“What did that mean to you?”
“Tell me how that came about?”
Then stop talking. Give the donor space to think.
From discovery to the next conversation
Record what the donor actually said, what matters to them, who participates in decisions and what follow-up was agreed.
Don't mistake wealth clues for verified capacity, or curiosity for gift readiness. Listen more than you speak. Let their perspective guide the next step.